no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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