yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
