my sisters under your porch take her home
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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