he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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