never play flip cup with pint glasses
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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