new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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