Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
