Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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