Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
