I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I didn't shave. On purpose
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
