Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
