ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
