Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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