you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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