I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
