how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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