My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
