Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize