Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
zippers are such a cool invention
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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