I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
