I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
ok first of all what the fuck
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
