I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
