so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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