I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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