I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
