Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
