You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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