Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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