Tell her she can't have a vagina
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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