that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How does it feel to date your dad?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
