He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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