Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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