My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
