Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
