I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
