Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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