i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
