She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
