Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize