No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
MIDGETS
????
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
