Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
