Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
