and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
