I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
What a dumb baby whore.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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