So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
