woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
