I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
