Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

areolas are like halos for boobs.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(626): View more from California

I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

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(626): View more from California

The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking

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(773): View more from Illinois

Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.

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(616): View more from Michigan

He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...

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