I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.