Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
