please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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