I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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