I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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