God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
