I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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