I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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