i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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