girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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