I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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