She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
