Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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