Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
