I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
