I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
