walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
