i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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