Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
