All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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